NO CHRISTMAS TREE!

I am a list person! I function on lists and goals. With that being said....Today is December 1st! A great day to set new goals and make new lists. I can't seem to do it in the middle of the month or in the middle of the week UNLESS it is the first of the month. I know, bizarre! I have also been wanting to make new traditions for Tony and I. So with December 1st coming along we decided that we would actually set up for Christmas! Last year we did nothing! Everyone has been putting up light and trees way to early! We decided that we will put everything up November 30th so that on December 1st we could turn all the lights on! Yesterday came and Tony had already started putting up the Christmas lights on the outside and was going to finish them up last night. I get home all excited and in the mood to decorate the house. Well a storm came and he wasn't able to set up the rest of the lights and finds out that he had put half of them up backwards, so he took them down. I am sad about this, but decide to get everything else set up. We pull all of the decorations out and make room for the tree and come to the conclusion that my husband has LOST the tree! Keep in mind that it is not in a box but it is a fully put together six foot tree. He has no idea where it is...so I call my mom and she says that we can use her tree cause she wants to get a real tree. Then she calls me back to inform me that she doesn't know where the tree is....WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE AND HOW DO THEY LOOSE CHRISTMAS TREES?! I am not going to lie I was pretty sad about this and I tell Tony "We had an out line, you stick to the outline so that things get done, now we don't have a tree or lights on the house!" He of course just laughs. I don't want to buy a tree cause we will be gone in 21 days and just wanted to make due with what we have since we want to get different things when we move into a new house. I turned off the Christmas music and didn't feel very excited any more. We still put out all the other decorations and had a fire going. The end result was good. When I got to work today I decided to clean my office and put Christmas music on and decided that we are just going to get a real tree! You can't have a Christmas party without a Christmas tree!

Slacker

It has been SOOOO long since I have posted! Life is crazy busy right now. I do have to say other then I would like it to slow down a bit I am completely content with life! We will be going on vacation starting tomorrow! I promise to update the blog when we return!

MARRIAGE

More often then not you hear about marriages ending. The reasoning is usually the same, someone is not happy. I truly believe that if you your self is not happy then that is your own failure. You should not count on your spouse to take on that conquest. You shouldn't need your spouse but WANT them. Marriage is hard work and it needs constant attention. It saddens me to hear when people just give up, or that it's not worth it anymore. In today's society marriage/divorce is just a signature and a piece of paper. When did the vows that you take mean so little? I get that things change over time and boredom slowly takes over usually, but why not switch things up? Be creative and make it a constant goal to keep everything fresh in the marriage. Money, Intimacy, and lack of Communication are common reasons that people fight and in return to lead to divorce. To me it is important to have the same values overall. I read this story below and it got me to thinking the above thoughts....

Marriage

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.

My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push threw with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up

EASTER WEEKEND

This weekend was busy and so fun! Well, lets start with Friday night. Tony and I actually went to bed at 8:30pm! Whoa...old people! Tony has started a new work schedule starting early in the morning. Granted I wake up to wake him up, but then I am back to sleep until past the time that the sun comes up! All week though we have been in bed before at least 9pm. Not sure how I sleep so much.

Now comes the fun weekend...Saturday we spent the day with my family. Easter Egg Hunt at a park in Spanish Fork. It was cold and windy. But the kids had so much fun playing on the park toys and searching for eggs. My favorite part was when I got out of the truck and I hear three little girls yelling my name as they are running towards me. Two of them were my cousins kids and of course the cutest niece ever! I saw here and started running towards her little pitter pattering feet and realized how much I had missed her! I went with her as she was looking for her Easter eggs. I had to get her to put every egg in the bag I was holding so she would have her hands free to pick up more eggs. She just wanted to hold onto them all. Eventually it started sprinkling, so we diverted the next event to my aunts house. Saturday was my mom's birthday as well, so we had a BBQ! The day turned out so nice...rain included. My nephew kept Tony entertained with the outlook of a 10 year old that wants a sweet 16 party with his friend....yes it was entertaining and a bit frightening! After the party was over we went and saw my brother and sister in-laws new house. It was so cute! They decorated it simply (my favorite) and it made me want a new house for sure! I hadn't seen them in a while, so it was real nice to catch up!

Sunday was Bunny day! Tony of course had to work. Which gave my procrastinating self time to put his basket together. When he got home we all took a nap until it was time to get ready to go to dinner at the Steven's house. I wore my cute Easter dress that my sister sent me. (Last year we started this event that we hope to make a tradition. We both love dresses, so we decided to buy each other an Easter outfit. Well come to find out our styles are VERY different! So this year we decided to pick out 3 dresses that we liked and the other person would pick the final dress out. This way we would get something that we liked and it would still be a surprise! So this year was a better turn out. I can't wait for next year.) I did get Tony in a button up shirt! We even ended up matching..."ahhh cute" (my mother in law said) but she was right. Once we where ready Tony and I gave each other our Easter baskets. I did a theme this year...baseball! And he hid a camera in the bottom of my basket. I didn't even see it at first. He had to make a comment for me to look a bit deeper. So you know what this means....PICTURES again! We finally made it over to my in-laws. The kids had their egg hunt, why we celebrate Easter story from Grandpa, and yummy food! I ate so much ham and 'funeral potatoes' that my belly hurt! It was a really nice way to end such a good weekend and Easter!

LAS VEGAS

This weekend we went to Vegas and stayed with my sister. We were so excited to get out of the cold wet snowy weather! We left Thursday night after I got off of work. The drive down wasn't to bad. I think it went by faster then normal. Tony did how ever get pulled over! The cop said he clocked us at 90 and Tony had the cruise control set at 82. So Tony was fuming for the next hour or so. Thanks Mr. Officer!

I was so glad to see my family! My niece and nephew are getting so big! Samantha is walking and has the cutest smile. Joshua is getting taller and always has cute things to say. He was super scared of little Nilkah. He was convinced that she was going to bite him. She just wanted a friend, because their dog Thomas and Nilkah just weren't becoming good friends.

Friday, Tony and I had all day to play in the nice hot sun! How nice it was to actually be out of the rain or snow. We slept in til 10 (I had a ruff night, with Nilkah whining every two seconds, which is not normal and I had a migraine). We went to the grocery store to get some alcohol to make some yummy drinks! Then lunch at Buffalo....something. Now it was sunshine and pool time. I was in heaven. Nilkah wouldn't get into the pool though. I was hoping that Thomas would teach her how fetch was really played, but she had no interest. That night we went out with my sister and brother in-law. We went to the yummiest Mexican restaurant. Even when the waiter dumped salsa all over our table and it was directed towards me only stopping a few drops from my lap...it was a real fun time! Minus the loud obnoxious drunk lady next to us. We then went to a casino and gambled some money away. We were going to play bingo but my brother in-law had to work at four in the am. So we called it a night.

Saturday I played out in the sun with Joshua. He played in the "small pool" aka jacuzzi. He scared me jumping so far across. I was afraid that he was going to hit the other side of the concrete. But he was so excited to show me that he could hold his breath. Saturday night was also the night for Celine Dion in concert! I was so very excited about this...silly you may think, but she was awesome! She is very child like and beautiful! There was a guy behind us that decided that everyone paid to listen to him sing...how wrong he was! He was a little to smashed. We then had dinner at Ferraro's, and that was not so great. Guys in the bar area were cat calling to a couple women. Their men didn't even stand up for them. Some peoples children! The night weather was so nice, warm and clear. It was nice to get Tony away from work and just have fun. We definitely need to get away a bit more. Some time life just consumes you and at those times you just need a vacation!

We left early Sunday morning to get home for Tony's baseball game at two. The drive seemed a bit longer then the ride down. Nilkah was so good. I think she was worn out because she slept pretty much the hole way. Tony's team won their game as well! Well that was all for our weekend. I know that I have been horrible with posting pictures. Do to not really having a camera. But I do have some pictures for this trip so I will post them!

NEW LOOK...

Yesterday I went and had my hair cut two and a half inches and as for the color...I went light!

EWWW....

I took Tony to Park City for date night. After dinner we were walking up Main Street back to our car. It was a very nice night out, chilly but not freezing. We were just walking and talk and then all of a sudden a retched smell passes my nose! I looked up and someone was smoking that was in front of us. I just don't get is, smoking is so disgusting! It smells nasty, it's got to taste nasty, and it looks nasty! I get that it's personal choice, but is it really? I have no choice to not smell the stench when it is just floating around the air that I am breathing. I have no choice to not have them go somewhere far away from me to suck on their cancer stick. Oh and then when I see someone smoking by their kids or baby and they turn their head away from the children, so courteous of them! UNTIL the wind blows it right back into their face. Or how about when they are in the car and people or kids are sitting right behind them? Yes you may have your hand out the window but the people or kids are getting the second hand smoke in their lungs still!! UGH! It is just so nasty, and expensive! Your just dwindling your money away on crap! People say they don't want to quit cause they will gain weight, so work out, eat healthy, be proactive! "It calms me down" read a book, meditate find a healthy non smelling habit that isn't only killing you but me too!

MARCH....

Can I just say that I love love love St. Patrick's Day dinner?! My mother in law made it last night and it is so yummy! I think that March is a fun month. I love to get a new green outfit, the four leaf clover is fun, and somehow green food is fun too!

Now as for updates!

I am loving work! My promotion to Distribution Administrative Assistant is a new fun experience. I have been in this position since October, but things are just barley starting to settle and get into some type of normalcy.

Tony has been crazy busy at work! Who knew that bagels would be so much work?! He also picked up a delivery for Five Guys, so the extra cash is nice.

Mrs. Nilka is fully grown. She is still pretty small, just long. We had her spayed and ever since she has been an emotional roller coaster, poor thing! She is finally getting used to my niece Aaleeya, and they have fun chasing each other around the house.

Spring is coming and I feel like spring cleaning! Tony decided that he wanted to redo the laundry room so a wall was torn down and a mess was made. Then he lost the motivation, so we have got to fix that. My brother is moving out this week as well so I think its time for some cleaning and rearranging. I am sooo ready for summer!

We are planning on a vacation in April. I am voting Costa Rica and Tony is voting for Dominican Republic, so we will see. Either way I can't wait to get on the beach!

We are going to Vegas next month. Tony bought me tickets to Celine Dion for my birthday and I am extremely excited!

Well I think this includes updates for now. I will write again soon!

OUR NEW ADDITION....

Last week we purchased a new truck! It's a 2011 Dodge Ram Mega Cab, all white with black interior. It is already so tall that even Tony has to jump in it, it maybe a sight to watch me getting in it :) Right now it is all standard but men like to play with thier toys. So new tires, rims, lift, chip...blah blah blah will be coming soon enough. Here is a picture (more to come)...

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

Granted that this day is a rediculous day for a holiday to tell loved ones that you love them. But I do have to say that I love my husband oh so much! He is my everything, my world, my rock. He means the world to me. Now don't get me wrong we have our ups and downs just like any couple. But even with all the times, I don't ever want to be without him! Just having him by my side when times are difficult is enough for me. Sharing the happy times is more then I could ask for. He is so so so good to and for me! I honestly couldn't express to you how much I love this man! I am so very thankful for him.

HAPPY NEW YEARS!!

I am so happy that the holidays are over and now it is the new year! Tony and I started the our new years diet yesterday. Work is crazy busy! Nilkah was spayed last week. We are planning a trip to the Caribbean in April. We are going to get scuba certified before we go. Powell or Mead for our Anniversary trip in August. How pretty will it be to renue our vows on the rocks?! We were talking about babies maybe this year but decided not yet. My brother Cody is still living with us and working with Tony. I love having him and my niece around! I am going to actually hunt the riffle hunt this year! Usually I just go and support. But I want to hunt this year. Tony and I are getting everything in place so that we can buy a new house at the end of this year or beginning of next year. What a busy year ahead of us! I am so excited for the new adventures ahead!